Dilemma. Bad story !

There are times you have to face the dilemma of being on the way which was set up or being on the way which you have been striven for. It could be time when you graduate from high school and choose a career for your life. It could be time when you decide whether to stay in your high-paid job or to start your own bussiness. In a smaller scale, it's time when I stuck in a state of utter chaos, decide whether I should coppy the answers from my brilliant friend or continue in doing my clueless work.


What a beautiful Saturday to host such an event ! It's one of the most important tests, which counted nearly 20% in result. Oh, did I say how haunted it was ?!! Yeah, it's the 90th minute in a football game, which could save you from the penalty point or totally ruined everything you had gain. Everyone was so stressed out to find out how to perform seriously their best. I am not an execption. Unfortunately, imprisoning myself in study louge to cram for 6 hours weren't matter of luck, I still couldn't find my way out of a simply tricky geomatry. Later, I was hopefully on a half of way while the rest was undefined. It felt like a prisoner was one step closer to freedoom , however, he couldn't decide which one of the millions doors around him were the true exit.


Suddenly, a small piece of paper was thrown into me. "Answer ! Oh my god ! I was safe !" - my soul was dancing for receiving such a buoy when I nearly drowned in ocean of hopelessness. "Wait a minute ! I don't get what he wrote. What the heck !". Even a salvation cost. What was I supposed to do ? Continuing my clueless work or follow the right ways he shown. Sorry, I wasn't a great believer. Nothing in my mind but writing down exactly what he told, without sign what the heck I was doing.


"Time is up" - those cruel words were announced when I didn't finish my work nor "his work". Expectedly, 3 ! A 3 that ruinned everything, from hope to sucess. It was such a high-paid lesson. If only I had continued in doing my work, if only I had believed in myself, if only I had been able to trust the voice within, ... everything would have been turned to another point. I had listened lots from song, I had watches lots of movies, I even had talked to lots of people about how to believe greatly in themselves, however, never before I felt that despair. It's was too late and I was too lost to be saved. Letting people do for you or simply follow them without listen to your heart are ridisculously stupid


I am writing this note to share story and show that I was so over it. I don't expect that people will "learn" something from my bad situation. In fact, people will never learn unless they have been through it before. A friend of mine asked why I cried that much after this terrible result was announced, I said that "I had to pay too much for being such pathetic looser, who didn't trust in herself", he pretened that he understood my situation and then walked away. Haha, I know that people are very tired of listening to these million-year-old story. However, let wait and see how will they re-act. It wouldn't hard to believe that people even commit suicide when they face this kind of dilemma.


The Voice Within - Christina Aguilera
When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend, just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
If you will learn to begin to trust the voice within

There come the times when you stand in a cage of despair, screaming for help but in vain somehow. You are greatly disappointed and fall down the tears from your eyes. Basically, all of us seem to have experienced that feeling at least once.

Once you are a beginner in a professional field, or an amateur, scarcely will you have a chance to say "Just fine" to the problem you're getting involved with. Sometimes, despite your attempts, the result it returned is still something around the starting point. Except that you are an expert, everything can happen to you, regardless if you have expected or not.

Believe me. The chance for you still remains. The reason God all of a sudden closes a door in front of you is just to open other doors for you. You pay a toll for receiving a gift. And now, let's take a look again. Where is your gift? I don't know, but you'll know. Let's find it.

Then, I just want to return to your certain situation. Geometry seems to be a tough subject for you hah? I used to, so. Thus I know how hard you had to try. Just do it again (even if there's no use now). I do believe that with attempt and determination, you will get what you want soon.

Do give yourself a chance to redo things have been taken away and to recover things have been lost.